Your Time
by NataNly
Summary: Harry is feeling down about the loss of Sirius, and is not in the mood for any advice. But a certain werewolf has some very wise words for our reluctant hero.


**A/N: **It's amazing how a simple action can turn into a magnificent reason and that's how this story came to be. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Your Time **

.-.-.-.

Betrayed.

That's how Harry felt.

His godfather had betrayed him, Remus Lupin had betrayed him, his parents had betrayed him, his best friends had betrayed him, the world had betrayed him.

He was past crying by now; far past. The painful hole in his heart required more than crying, more than his body could give. His frail mortal body was shoved past its breaking point, and yet, he still had to remain human; had to endure the pain through the gentle flesh of his own skin, the weak beating of his own human heart.

Sirius was dead.

Sirius Black was dead.

His godfather was dead.

The only real "family member" he had left in his life was dead.

His reason for living was dead.

He, Harry, was, in a sense, dead.

Six things – gone forever by one simple little spell. It wasn't fair, not at all. He had already overcome Voldemort five times. Didn't he deserve something good for once? But no, life just kept dishing out the tragedies. What had he done to deserve this? What?

"Harry."

With his face stuffed in Sirius's pillow, Harry shouted, "Go away! I've told you a thousand times that I don't want to talk!" True bitterness hung in every syllable; hatred and anger clung to each word with fierce resolve.

The person on the other side of the door was either not balked by the resistance of the sixteen-year-old boy's words or just plain didn't care. The door opened silently and a figure plodded into the room, a frown etched on his face. "Harry," he said again.

Harry rolled over and gave his visitor a look that threw daggers. Through clenched teeth, he spat, "I thought I made it clear that I didn't want you to talk to me?"

Still not turned off by Harry's spitefulness, Remus Lupin placed himself at the end of Sirius's bed, watching the boy out of calm, calculating blue eyes. Those eyes (so much like Dumbledore's) made Harry want to throw something at Remus.

"You know, just last month, Sirius told me that he wished the same bitterness that hung over his life would never envelop you as well."

At those words, Harry really did throw the nearest object at the man – a pillow. He watched, seething, as Remus allowed the pillow to hit him. He didn't even bat an eye. The pillow flopped to the wooden floor, and yet he just sat there staring at Harry, his face unreadable. That made Harry furious.

"Just – go – away! I didn't ask for you to come in, and I certainly didn't ask for you to start quoting dead people!"

Finally, Remus was affected. He let out a sharp gasp and seemed to shrink a little. A wounded expression took over his face, and when he spoke, his voice was not nearly as steady as it had been: "So that's what Sirius is to you, Harry? A 'dead person'?"

"No, he bloody well isn't!" Harry screamed back, fighting the urge to scurry over and wring Remus's neck.

And that's when the tears starting falling.

The same tears that had fallen not even a month ago as Remus Lupin held onto him fast as he tried to run to Sirius, who had fallen behind the veil…

In the blink of an eye, Remus was over by Harry, hugging him.

With a cry that was choked by tears, Harry shoved the man away from him. "I don't – I don't need your sympathy! It was your – your fault! If you hadn't been keeping me back, I could have rescued him! I could've!"

Remus said nothing, and when he approached Harry and wrapped his arms around him again, Harry did not resist. Instead, a loud sob escaped his throat and he clung to Remus harder than he had ever clung to anyone before.

"It's so dark here!" he wailed. "Please, Professor Lupin, I can't see anything! Not the light, nothing! I'm drowning and I can't swim! The earth has opened up and swallowed me whole! Please Professor, save me before the earth closes up for good!" His desperate cries tore at Remus's heart, and his entire "life and death" speech went out the window. Instead, he spoke improv, the words pouring from the very depths of his soul…

"I know…you feel as though you've had to pack up all the dreams that've been planted in Sirius's fertile soil." He took a deep breath that shook both him and Harry. "And I know that right know you just can't believe in the hopes that life has granted you; can't believe that a chapter of not only his life, but yours as well, has ended."

Following along, Harry choked, "But I don't want to close the book. I don't want to stop reading."

Remus nodded, resting his chin gently on Harry's head. "Then don't stop reading, ever. You've got to keep Sirius as close as ever, so that it doesn't even feel as though he's gone. Because Harry, our hearts, in big ways and small ways, will keep the love that keeps us strong."

His anger ebbing away like a dying ember, Harry whispered into Remus's shirt, "If I do that – keep the love strong – then will Sirius live with me forever? He and I can still be friends?"

"Sirius and I," Remus breathed, "have been friends for a long time." He paused. "And we're still friends, Harry, because friends are friends forever, if love is the Lord of them. And a friend will not say 'never', because the welcome does not end."

"But it's so hard to let him go – "

"In the Father's hands, I know," Remus soothed. "But a lifetime's not too long to live as friends."

The boy in his arms cracked a small smile. "No…no I suppose not. A lifetime isn't to long to live as friends."

"You've also got to know that Sirius will always be there for you." Remus reached up one hand and wiped away his tears. He swallowed and took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Even when you start to feel the sunlight fading into the cold night, and you don't know where to turn. When all of your largest dreams start to lose their meaning, let Sirius into your world. He'll give you someone to hold, so you no longer need to be sad, because you're not alone."

Harry lost some of the meaning in Remus's words. Removing his arms from around his one-time professor, he scooted back farther on the bed and frowned. "I don't understand. How can I hold Sirius, and how can he make me feel better when he's not even here?"

"But he _is_ Harry, he is! Don't you remember what I just said? You even said it yourself – if you keep the love strong, Sirius will remain with you forever. He'll be there for you, somewhere in the night."

"Somewhere in the night?"

"He'll shine a light for you. Somewhere in the night, he'll be standing by; have no doubts, he'll be there for you."

Harry sniffled and managed to blink away the next wave of oncoming tears. "So…so in this world of strangers and cold unfriendly faces…he'll be someone I can trust?"

Remus nodded. "Now you're getting it. He will be your shelter; he'll give you his shoulder. All you have to do is reach out your love. Reach out for his love, call his name, and I swear by Merlin, Harry, Sirius will hear. He'll be there, you've got nothing to fear."

Harry grew silent, slowly digesting what he'd just heard. He closed his eyes and tried to reach out to Sirius…but another sob ripped free of him, and he found himself crying out to Remus, "That's all good and well, Professor Lupin, but what about Sirius? How must he be feeling? His life was cut off so soon – so suddenly. There were – there were so many things he had wanted to do…!" And just like that, the tears were falling again.

Remus shook his head. "You mustn't think that way. Remember: This was his time, this was his dance – he lived every moment; left nothing to chance."

Harry closed his eyes again. He began whispering to softly that Remus had to lean in closer to hear. "He swam in the sea; drank of the deep; embraced the mystery of all he could be."

The man in front of him smiled, a look that lit up his entire face. "This was his time." A hand of his migrated over and rested itself on Harry's right shoulder. "And what of you, Harry? What of you?"

"Me? I…"

"You, too, have got to realize that this is your time, this is your dance."

"I've got to live every moment; leave nothing to chance!"

"Swim in the sea; drink of the deep; embrace the mystery of all you can be."

The tears were gone. "This is my time."

"Indeed it is, indeed it is."

Remus stood, looking affectionately in a fatherly sort of way at the boy on the bed. "I believe Molly needs some help making dinner. Care to join me?"

Harry stood up. "Thanks, Professor Lupin."

Remus tilted his head. "Don't thank me; thank Sirius."

The boy lifted his head, looking up as though he could see through the ceiling, past the clouds, and up into heaven. "Thank Sirius."

And as he and Remus made their way down the stairs to help Mrs. Weasley, a warm, pleasant breeze swept its way through Grimmauld Place, and Harry could swear he heard Sirius's voice reply, "You're welcome."

_The End _


End file.
